Apr. 1, 2025

Day 0 & 1 -- Day Zero prompt -- Portrait Poem --
https://www.napowrimo.net/ -- (not fully edited)

Unmasked - a monster with 2 heads

a living contradiction
crave order but cannot maintain it
want precise & neat space but struggle--
chaos reigns                        not good enough
can’t quite ‘get there’

get things done? need a schedule!
but too strict                       what a conflict!

like wanting to take my time & be perfect but
not having the attention          span                    to…
It’s like 2 brains of 2 people in there
& 1 signs me up for more than the other can deliver

unique & creative outlook on life
hard worker & good with details
big picture, quick connections
can see to the heart of things
when I’m outside the box
(because I don’t even know where the box is)
and safe in my own space
I can create intricate plans & get shit done

Nicola brain is very logical & controlled
wants the ducks lined up in a row
mask held tight (they all thought I was green AND so organized at work)
Miss Nikki brain is ‘Yay! Just do it                do ‘all the things!’
Hey, where are my ducks? What ducks?!
It is an exhausting tug of war

I am a slave to my own brains &
it’s so tiring & I can’t quite sleep
with all that noise

hey guess what? I interrupt constantly overshare
spin tap & fidget where is my favourite rock?
hum & utter while I look
oh I found that book
amongst lost keys, missed appointments & a cluttered home –
nay it’s piles of ideas!

pardon me while I appear inattentive
distracted by balls of chaotic thoughts
bouncing around inside my skull, behind blue eyes
retreat to untangle

didn’t always like myself
being so weird                so quirky
that Freaky girl from mars --
trying to blend into the wall
or thinking about how strange I am
as I try to chat & sound normal

now                I don’t want to be like other people.
I may be odd but I am also clever fun & unforgettable
with age comes wisdom - or simply less fucks to give -
finally found the right people & job
becoming the me I was always meant to be

a living contradiction — unmasked

(By Miss Nikki vs. Nicola)
Tues. April 1, 2025

​What? 30 poems in 30 days...
​
NaPoWriMo, or National Poetry Writing Month, is an annual project in which participating poets attempt to write a poem a day for the month of April. Read more here: https://www.napowrimo.net/about/

​My NaPoWriMo Experience…
I have dabbled with NaPowriMo for 10 years (2013, really?! Wow!). Have I ever managed a poem a day?... Well, only once. April 2020, the first official month of COVID, and I suspect many folks were actually able to do this one. What else were we doing?! Plus, there was no better way to deal with the turmoil of those crazy times. Sometimes, when April has been too busy, I’ve done another random month, like Poetember in 2018. I have always started NaPoWriMo all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed but sometimes I don’t make it further than that (I’m looking at you, 2019!). Usually, I make it through about half a month. I’ve learned to go with the flow. If not writing an actual poem each day, I might work on editing, or pairing an old poem with media, or doing Word Work activities (like Wordle). So, more accurately, I aim to spend at least 30 minutes on poetry work for 30 days. (In a perfect world, I do that already, but lets just say, I use Poetry Month as a much-needed poetry push in the right direction😊

Check out my other post, here: https://towerpoetry.ca/blog/towerpoetry.ca/blog/

At the start of Pandemic Times, I started watching “Dickinson” on AppleTV… and was inspired to delve deeper…. I read poems watched the series and was inspired to write this poem after seeing this random picture...
 
SHE & ME
                (Honouring Emily Dickinson)
 
Notions niggle and needle at the edges 
of restlessness — nibbling.  
She, in her white gown, gazing out, 
absently rubbing the silky-smooth surface
of her newest stone
that only earlier she’d seen surfaced 
amongst the sprouts, 
sparkling in the sunlight --
beckoning like her words,
trickling and dripping down, 
tickling the paper,
shiny as the diamonds that dot 
the midnight skies.
 
Truly awake now, she relents.
The poem gushes forth, flowing 
from her soul made of stars --
And of dirt from the Earth and 
of all the spirits that stir in the night.
There was no rest for the poet — 
Until she closed her eyes for good.

** Published in 2 poetry publications, some time in the last 2 years (Tower Poetry Society and The Ontario Poetry Society - but I suck at record-keeping, remembering stuff, and finding stuff, so ...)